"What does immortality mean to me? That we all want more time; and we want it to be quality time."
~ Joan D. Vinge
COMMUNICATION & RELATIONSHIP
Every relationship needs this crucial element - COMMUNICATION. Many suffer because the participants are speaking in "TONGUES" and do not understand the other person. This causes one detriment ~ "You are not hearing me!" That is a common statement in many disagreements.
Dr. Gary Chapman wrote "The 5 Love Languages" and it sheds so much light on how we communicate. Communicate with our family, our children, our spouses, our bosses, our employees, our customers!! This book divulges some powerful information.
For the next few weeks, we will walk together and explore each of the languages. Then we will discern which 3 we speak the best. Then we will investigate which 3 our partners speak. Then, lastly, we will engage in a conversation about our findings.
First, let's discover what these language are and we will choose one to discuss today. They are: (1) Physical Touch; (2) Quality Time; (3) Receiving Gifts; (4) Words of Affirmation; & (5) Acts of Service.
The goal is to discover 3 of your best languages that you will use in communicating with others.
Let's talk about QUALITY TIME.
But what does that mean to you? Mr. Gary Chapman says, “By “quality time”, I mean giving someone your undivided attention.” In today’s modern world, with all the gadgetry and multiple things to do, how do we come to terms with Quality Time?
I have witnessed two friends out to lunch, on a nice day, in a nice restaurant, and instead of enjoying the moment together, they were both texting on their phones! It was disturbing to me. However, some would think that just being in the same room or sitting at the same table as the other person, means you have spent QUALITY TIME with that person. NOT!!
Do you do that when you are out with your friends, significant others, your kids? Hmmm.. Could the issue for that behavior be that you no longer find the other person interesting? Now, there is nothing under the sun to chat about? Wow!
Today, I wish to challenge you. The next time that you are out with a friend, your spouse, your child, try this simple act. Place your gadgets away and out of reach for the duration. If you can’t tuck them away in a purse or briefcase, then place them on MUTE or turn them off. Just until your time has ended with that person. Find something interesting to talk about with that person.
Nothing to say? Or, you may say, “I’m not a talkative person.” Or, “I don’t feel like talking.”
And that’s fine. No one said to be a “Chatty Kathy!” We all know that could be equally as irritating. However, just spending time and engaging in an activity that you and your partner like, that can be something worth investigating. Going on a picnic, or bike riding or even exercising together. That is QUALITY TIME as well. Your attention and focus is on them, on your experiencing and enjoying moments with them. The emotions that arrive from those enjoyable moments, aaahhhhh!!!
Funny thing how when a couple is together, whether in a park or movie theater or restaurant, you can tell how long they have been a couple, simply based off their interaction with each other. I think you know exactly what I mean!
If the love is new, oh gosh, they are all smiles and giddy. You notice that they tend to be really “touchy feely.” But when a couple has been together for more than a couple of years, especially if they are married, sadly enough, all the fuss and touch go out the window. They are no longer acting interested in each other. They are more interested in the venue or their surroundings. Or worst case scenario, their gadgets! After the newness of the bond wears off, couples tend to get comfy. When the comfy does not include the emotional connection, the focused element of enjoying time together,.. then, it may be time to take the pulse of that union.
So what if you are a “Chatty Kathy” and love to engage in some MIND F*&$ing conversation?! Some of us get so turned on by some great conversation!! Am I right?!
We are here for a time, let’s spend it together wisely, because no matter when we depart from this time space reality, it will be all too soon.
So remember, spend focused, enjoyable, emotionally connecting time together with yourself or with your significant other. Next time, we will speak about another language, RECEIVING GIFTS.
In the meantime, think of your Love Language and send us some feedback on our Facebook Page.
Well, that's why our next conversation will be about another LOVE LANGUAGE ~ RECEIVING GIFTS.
Leave a comment here about today's article and what language you discovered.